Attraction is a tough topic.

Men and women both sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to woo potential partners. But well-meant isn’t always well-done, as overinflated lips and guys posing in front of rented Lamborghinis show.

I know what it’s like. I tried to be the “alpha” guy for years until I realized the very behaviors I thought made me attractive turned me into the sexual equivalent of stale goulash soup. But men aren’t the only ones selling themselves out.

Both sexes do stupid things to be more attractive, but as a man who’s spent a few years of his life…

Two years ago, I was in a dark place. Mindless and pointless distractions ate away most of my time. A toxic relationship and negative friends held me back and sucked the energy out of me. I studied something I didn’t enjoy and had no idea what to do with my life.

Today, I’m earning money with what I’m passionate about. I’m in a healthy relationship with an incredibly supportive woman who checks most of the boxes. The toxic friends who once wreaked havoc in my life do so no longer. I know who I am, I’ve got a clear trajectory…

“Confidence is everything. Confidence is what makes that simple white tee and jeans look good.”

— Ciara

Confidence is a key that unlocks many doors — but without it, you’ll often stand in the rain.

Most advice comes down to fake it until you make it, which is neither a viable nor sustainable strategy. You can’t watch a motivational video on YouTube before every business meeting or snort a line of coke before every date. Putting up a façade is exhausting, makes you feel like a fake, and does to your confidence what a wrecking ball does to an old…

THE AUTHENTIC MAN LETTER 6

Every second Friday, I send out the Authentic Man 5–3–1 Newsletter to help men become more authentic and live a more meaningful life.

5 Minutes | 3 Ideas, Quotes, and Questions | 1 Challenge

1 IDEA

Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

Confidence is a belief you have in yourself.

It’s independent of external circumstances. You don’t have to be the strongest, smartest, or whatever-est person in the room. You just have to believe you are capable of handling whatever situation life throws at you.

But why do so many men build their confidence on…

Men are simple. We communicate clearly and go after what we want — except for when we crumble under societal pressure, feel bad, or are plain afraid.

Toxic masculinity encourages “real men” to always have their shit together and not deviate from the whole strong like Hulk, rational like James Bond, and firm as a rock narrative. If you do, you’re weak, which does to a man’s ego what a wrecking ball does to a wedding cake.

In my work as a man’s coach and my role as a best friend, I’ve discovered men sometimes crave the simplest things but…

THE AUTHENTIC MAN LETTER 5

Every second Friday, I send out the Authentic Man 5–3–1 Newsletter to help men become more authentic and live a more meaningful life.

5 Minutes | 3 Ideas, Quotes, and Questions | 1 Challenge

1 IDEA

Purpose is at the core of healthy masculinity.

As men, we are capable of great things.

We can be strong and courageous, build businesses, earn money and provide for our families, connect in tribes, and endure the nagging of our girlfriends and wives for hours without batting an eye. We can build our bodies and sharpen our minds to become the best version of ourselves we can be. But without purpose and meaning, none of it matters…

As an impatient person aware of my perishability, I hate waiting — especially if I could do something fun instead.

Three years ago, I waited in an absurdly long line in front of a food truck at a festival. Instead of dancing the socks off my already bare feet, I had to endure the guy in front of me ask for every single ingredient in the lasagna only to order a cheeseburger instead — without the cheese, of course. Moments like these make you question how humanity made it to the top of the food chain.

But when I told…

Setting goals is much easier than achieving them — but with the right approach, you make success almost inevitable.

Most people treat their long-term ambitions like Tupperware in the fridge. They have good intentions but get distracted by fresh snacks until it’s too late and yesteryear’s Chicken Alfredo has turned into a furry, blue, and inedible baby. Just like that, they let their goals go moldy in the back of their head.

Data shows only about 50% of people stick to their New Year’s resolutions for more than a month. After two years, about 80% have given up. …